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第40部分(第1页)

terror; almost with frenzy。

He learned to acquiesce to this; to submit to the awful;

obliterated sources which were the origin of his living tissue。

He was not what he conceived himself to be! Then he was what he

was; unknown; potent; dark。

He became accustomed to the child; he knew how to lift and

balance the little body。 The baby had a beautiful; rounded head

that moved him passionately。 He would have fought to the last

drop to defend that exquisite; perfect round head。

He learned to know the little hands and feet; the strange;

unseeing; golden…brown eyes; the mouth that opened only to cry;

or to suck; or to show a queer; toothless laugh。 He could almost

understand even the dangling legs; which at first had created in

him a feeling of aversion。 They could kick in their queer little

way; they had their own softness。

One evening; suddenly; he saw the tiny; living thing rolling

naked in the mothers lap; and he was sick; it was so utterly

helpless and vulnerable and extraneous; in a world of hard

surfaces and varying altitudes; it lay vulnerable and naked at

every point。 Yet it was quite blithe。 And yet; in its blind;

awful crying; was there not the blind; far…off terror of its own

vulnerable nakedness; the terror of being so utterly delivered

over; helpless at every point。 He could not bear to hear it

crying。 His heart strained and stood on guard against the whole

universe。

But he waited for the dread of these days to pass; he saw the

joy ing。 He saw the lovely; creamy; cool little ear of the

baby; a bit of dark hair rubbed to a bronze floss; like

bronze…dust。 And he waited; for the child to bee his; to look

at him and answer him。

It had a separate being; but it was his own child。 His flesh

and blood vibrated to it。 He caught the baby to his breast with

his passionate; clapping laugh。 And the infant knew him。

As the newly…opened; newly…dawned eyes looked at him; he

wanted them to perceive him; to recognize him。 Then he was

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