小说园

第77部分（第5页）

registers……it　was　all　a　barren　nothing！

Why　should　she　give　her　allegiance　to　this　world；　and　let　it

so　dominate　her；　that　her　own　world　of　warm　sun　and　growing；

sap…filled　life　was　turned　into　nothing？　She　was　not　going　to　do

it。　She　was　not　going　to　be　a　prisoner　in　the　dry；　tyrannical

man…world。　She　was　not　going　to　care　about　it。　What　did　it

matter　if　her　class　did　ever　so　badly　in　the　quarterly

examination。　Let　it……what　did　it　matter？

Nevertheless；　when　the　time　came；　and　the　report　on　her　class

was　bad；　she　was　miserable；　and　the　joy　of　the　summer　was　taken

away　from　her；　she　was　shut　up　in　gloom。　She　could　not　really

escape　from　this　world　of　system　and　work；　out　into　her　fields

where　she　was　happy。　She　must　have　her　place　in　the　working

world；　be　a　recognized　member　with　full　rights　there。　It　was

more　important　to　her　than　fields　and　sun　and　poetry；　at　this

time。　But　she　was　only　the　more　its　enemy。

It　was　a　very　difficult　thing；　she　thought；　during　the　long

hours　of　intermission　in　the　summer　holidays；　to　be　herself；　her

happy　self　that　enjoyed　so　much　to　lie　in　the　sun；　to　play　and

swim　and　be　content；　and　also　to　be　a　school…teacher　getting

results　out　of　a　class　of　children。　She　dreamed　fondly　of　the

time　when　she　need　not　be　a　teacher　any　more。　But　vaguely；　she

knew　that　responsibility　had　taken　place　in　her　for　ever；　and　as

yet　her　prime　business　was　to　work。

The　autumn　passed　away；　the　winter　was　at　hand。　Ursula　became

more　and　more　an　inhabitant　of　the　world　of　work；　and　of　what　is

called　life。　She　could　not　see　her　future；　but　a　little　way　off；

was　college；　and　to　the　thought　of　this　she　clung　fixedly。　She

would　go　to　college；　and　get　her　two　or　three　years　training；

free　of　cost。　Already　she　had　applied　and　had　her　place

appointed　for　the　ing　year。

So　she　continued　to　study　for　her　degree。　She　would　take

French；　Latin；　English；　mathematics　and　botany。　She　went　to

classes　in　Ilkeston；　she　studied　at　evening。　For　there　was　this

world　to　conquer；　this　knowledge　to　acquire；　this　qualification

to　attain。　And　she　worked　with　intensity；　because　of　a　want

inside　her　that　drove　her　on。　Almost　everything　was　subordinated

now　to　this　one　desire　to　take　her　place　in　the　world。　What　kind

of　place　it　was　to　be　she　did　not　ask　herself。　The　blind　desire