小说园

第32部分（第2页）

trembled　in　his　service。

Then　all　this　passed　away。　Then　he　loved　her　for　her

childishness　and　for　her　strangeness　to　him；　for　the　wonder　of

her　soul　which　was　different　from　his　soul；　and　which　made　him

genuine　when　he　would　be　false。　And　she　loved　him　for　the　way　he

sat　loosely　in　a　chair；　or　for　the　way　he　came　through　a　door

with　his　face　open　and　eager。　She　loved　his　ringing；　eager

voice；　and　the　touch　of　the　unknown　about　him；　his　absolute

simplicity。

Yet　neither　of　them　was　quite　satisfied。　He　felt；　somewhere；

that　she　did　not　respect　him。　She　only　respected　him　as　far　as

he　was　related　to　herself。　For　what　he　was；　beyond　her；　she　had

no　care。　She　did　not　care　for　what　he　represented　in　himself。　It

is　true；　he　did　not　know　himself　what　he　represented。　But

whatever　it　was　she　did　not　really　honour　it。　She　did　no　service

to　his　work　as　a　lace…designer；　nor　to　himself　as　bread…winner。

Because　he　went　down　to　the　office　and　worked　every

day……that　entitled　him　to　no　respect　or　regard　from　her；　he

knew。　Rather　she　despised　him　for　it。　And　he　almost　loved　her

for　this；　though　at　first　it　maddened　him　like　an　insult。

What　was　much　deeper；　she　soon　came　to　bat　his　deepest

feelings。　What　he　thought　about　life　and　about　society　and

mankind　did　not　matter　very　much　to　her：　he　was　right　enough　to

be　insignificant。　This　was　again　galling　to　him。　She　would　judge

beyond　him　on　these　things。　But　at　length　he　came　to　accept　her

judgments；　discovering　them　as　if　they　were　his　own。　It　was　not

here　the　deep　trouble　lay。　The　deep　root　of　his　enmity　lay　in

the　fact　that　she　jeered　at　his　soul。　He　was　inarticulate　and

stupid　in　thought。　But　to　some　things　he　clung　passionately。　He

loved　the　Church。　If　she　tried　to　get　out　of　him；　what　he

believed；　then　they　were　both　soon　in　a　white　rage。

Did　he　believe　the　water　turned　to　wine　at　Cana？　She　would

drive　him　to　the　thing　as　a　historical　fact：　so　much

rain…water…look　at　it……can　it　bee　grape…juice；　wine？　For

an　instant；　he　saw　with　the　clear　eyes　of　the　mind　and　said　no；