小说园

第74部分（第1页）

ultimate　home。　In　the　government；　she　knew　which　minister　had

supreme　control　over　Education；　and　it　seemed　to　her　that；　in

some　way；　he　was　connected　with　her；　as　her　father　was　connected

with　her。

She　had　another　self；　another　responsibility。　She　was　no

longer　Ursula　Brangwen；　daughter　of　William　Brangwen。　She　was

also　Standard　Five　teacher　in　St。　Philips　School。　And　it　was　a

case　now　of　being　Standard　Five　teacher；　and　nothing　else。　For

she　could　not　escape。

Neither　could　she　succeed。　That　was　her　horror。　As　the　weeks

passed　on；　there　was　no　Ursula　Brangwen；　free　and　jolly。　There

was　only　a　girl　of　that　name　obsessed　by　the　fact　that　she　could

not　manage　her　class　of　children。　At　week…ends　there　came　days

of　passionate　reaction；　when　she　went　mad　with　the　taste　of

liberty；　when　merely　to　be　free　in　the　morning；　to　sit　down　at

her　embroidery　and　stitch　the　coloured　silks　was　a　passion　of

delight。　For　the　prison　house　was　always　awaiting　her！　This　was

only　a　respite；　as　her　chained　heart　knew　well。　So　that　she

seized　hold　of　the　swift　hours　of　the　week…end；　and　wrung　the

last　drop　of　sweetness　out　of　them；　in　a　little；　cruel

frenzy。

She　did　not　tell　anybody　how　this　state　was　a　torture　to　her。

She　did　not　confide；　either　to　Gudrun　or　to　her　parents；　how

horrible　she　found　it　to　be　a　school…teacher。　But　when　Sunday

night　came；　and　she　felt　the　Monday　morning　at　hand；　she　was

strung　up　tight　with　dreadful　anticipation；　because　the　strain

and　the　torture　was　near　again。

She　did　not　believe　that　she　could　ever　teach　that　great；

brutish　class；　in　that　brutal　school：　ever；　ever。　And　yet；　if

she　failed；　she　must　in　some　way　go　under。　She　must　admit　that

the　mans　world　was　too　strong　for　her；　she　could　not　take　her

place　in　it；　she　must　go　down　before　Mr。　Harby。　And　all　her　life

henceforth；　she　must　go　on；　never　having　freed　herself　of　the

mans　world；　never　having　achieved　the　freedom　of　the　great