小说园

第45部分（第1页）

This　was　what　their　love　had　bee；　a　sensuality　violent　and

extreme　as　death。　They　had　no　conscious　intimacy；　no　tenderness

of　love。　It　was　all　the　lust　and　the　infinite；　maddening

intoxication　of　the　sense；　a　passion　of　death。

He　had　always；　all　his　life；　had　a　secret　dread　of　Absolute

Beauty。　It　had　always　been　like　a　fetish　to　him；　something　to

fear；　really。　For　it　was　immoral　and　against　mankind。　So　he　had

turned　to　the　Gothic　form；　which　always　asserted　the　broken

desire　of　mankind　in　its　pointed　arches；　escaping　the　rolling；

absolute　beauty　of　the　round　arch。

But　now　he　had　given　way；　and　with　infinite　sensual　violence

gave　himself　to　the　realization　of　this　supreme；　immoral；

Absolute　Beauty；　in　the　body　of　woman。　It　seemed　to　him；　that　it

came　to　being　in　the　body　of　woman；　under　his　touch。　Under　his

touch；　even　under　his　sight；　it　was　there。　But　when　he　neither

saw　nor　touched　the　perfect　place；　it　was　not　perfect；　it　was

not　there。　And　he　must　make　it　exist。

But　still　the　thing　terrified　him。　Awful　and　threatening　it

was；　dangerous　to　a　degree；　even　whilst　he　gave　himself　to　it。

It　was　pure　darkness；　also。　All　the　shameful　things　of　the　body

revealed　themselves　to　him　now　with　a　sort　of　sinister；　tropical

beauty。　All　the　shameful；　natural　and　unnatural　acts　of　sensual

voluptuousness　which　he　and　the　woman　partook　of　together；

created　together；　they　had　their　heavy　beauty　and　their　delight。

Shame；　what　was　it？　It　was　part　of　extreme　delight。　It　was　that

part　of　delight　of　which　man　is　usually　afraid。　Why　afraid？　The

secret；　shameful　things　are　most　terribly　beautiful。

They　accepted　shame；　and　were　one　with　it　in　their　most

unlicensed　pleasures。　It　was　incorporated。　It　was　a　bud　that

blossomed　into　beauty　and　heavy；　fundamental　gratification。

Their　outward　life　went　on　much　the　same；　but　the　inward　life

was　revolutionized。　The　children　became　less　important；　the

parents　were　absorbed　in　their　own　living。

And　gradually；　Brangwen　began　to　find　himself　free　to　attend

to　the　outside　life　as　well。　His　intimate　life　was　so　violently

active；　that　it　set　another　man　in　him　free。　And　this　new　man

turned　with　interest　to　public　life；　to　see　what　part　he　could

take　in　it。　This　would　give　him　scope　for　new　activity；　activity

of　a　kind　for　which　he　was　now　created　and　released。　He　wanted