Jesus do; if he were in my shoes?〃
Against all this; the Brangwens stood at bay。 If any one; it
was the mother who was caught by; or who was most careless of
the vulgar clamour。 She would have nothing extra…human。 She
never really subscribed; all her life; to Brangwens mystical
passion。
But Ursula was with her father。 As she became adolescent;
thirteen; fourteen; she set more and more against her mothers
practical indifference。 To Ursula; there was something callous;
almost wicked in her mothers attitude。 What did Anna Brangwen;
in these years; care for God or Jesus or Angels? She was the
immediate life of to…day。 Children were still being born to her;
she was throng with all the little activities of her family。 And
almost instinctively she resented her husbands slavish service
to the Church; his dark; subject hankering to worship an unseen
God。 What did the unrevealed God matter; when a man had a young
family that needed fettling for? Let him attend to the immediate
concerns of his life; not go projecting himself towards the
ultimate。
But Ursula was all for the ultimate。 She was always in revolt
against babies and muddled domesticity。 To her Jesus was another
world; He was not of this world。 He did not thrust His hands
under her face and; pointing to His wounds; say:
〃Look; Ursula Brangwen; I got these for your sake。 Now do as
youre told。〃
To her; Jesus was beautifully remote; shining in the
distance; like a white moon at sunset; a crescent moon beckoning
as it follows the sun; out of our ken。 Sometimes dark clouds
standing very far off; pricking up into a clear yellow band of
sunset; of a winter evening; reminded her of Calvary; sometimes
the full moon rising blood…red upon the hill terrified her with
the knowledge that Christ was now dead; hanging heavy and dead
upon the Cross。
On Sundays; this visionary world came to pass。 She heard the
long hush; she knew the marriage of dark and light was taking
place。 In church; the Voice sounded; re…echoing not from this
world; as if the Church itself were a shell that still spoke the
language of creation。
〃The Sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were
fair: and they took them wives of all which they chose。