小说园

第11部分（第1页）

his　friends；　receiving　their　regard　gratefully；　glad　of　their

attention。　His　heart　was　tormented　within　him；　he　did　not　try　to

smile。　The　time　of　his　trial　and　his　admittance；　his　Gethsemane

and　his　Triumphal　Entry　in　one；　had　e　now。

Behind　her；　there　was　so　much　unknown　to　him。　When　he

approached　her；　he　came　to　such　a　terrible　painful　unknown。　How

could　he　embrace　it　and　fathom　it？　How　could　he　close　his　arms

round　all　this　darkness　and　hold　it　to　his　breast　and　give

himself　to　it？　What　might　not　happen　to　him？　If　he　stretched　and

strained　for　ever　he　would　never　be　able　to　grasp　it　all；　and　to

yield　himself　naked　out　of　his　own　hands　into　the　unknown　power！

How　could　a　man　be　strong　enough　to　take　her；　put　his　arms　round

her　and　have　her；　and　be　sure　he　could　conquer　this　awful

unknown　next　his　heart？　What　was　it　then　that　she　was；　to　which

he　must　also　deliver　himself　up；　and　which　at　the　same　time　he

must　embrace；　contain？

He　was　to　be　her　husband。　It　was　established　so。　And　he

wanted　it　more　than　he　wanted　life；　or　anything。　She　stood

beside　him　in　her　silk　dress；　looking　at　him　strangely；　so　that

a　certain　terror；　horror　took　possession　of　him；　because　she　was

strange　and　impending　and　he　had　no　choice。　He　could　not　bear　to

meet　her　look　from　under　her　strange；　thick　brows。

〃Is　it　late？〃　she　said。

He　looked　at　his　watch。

〃No……half…past　eleven；〃　he　said。　And　he　made　an　excuse

to　go　into　the　kitchen；　leaving　her　standing　in　the　room　among

the　disorder　and　the　drinking…glasses。

Tilly　was　seated　beside　the　fire　in　the　kitchen；　her　head　in

her　hands。　She　started　up　when　he　entered。

〃Why　havent　you　gone　to　bed？〃　he　said。

〃I　thought　Id　better　stop　an　lock　up　an　do；〃　she　said。　Her

agitation　quietened　him。　He　gave　her　some　little　order；　then

returned；　steadied　now；　almost　ashamed；　to　his　wife。　She　stood　a

moment　watching　him；　as　he　moved　with　averted　face。　Then　she

said：

〃You　will　be　good　to　me；　wont　you？〃

She　was　small　and　girlish　and　terrible；　with　a　queer；　wide

look　in　her　eyes。　His　heart　leaped　in　him；　in　anguish　of　love

and　desire；　he　went　blindly　to　her　and　took　her　in　his　arms。