小说园

第19部分（第4页）

tecum；〃　or；　〃benedicta　tu　in　mulieribus。〃　She　loved　the　mystic

words；　〃Ave　Maria；　Sancta　Maria；〃　she　was　moved　by　〃benedictus

fructus　ventris　tui　Jesus；〃　and　by　〃nunc　et　in　hora　mortis

nostrae。〃　But　none　of　it　was　quite　real。　It　was　not

satisfactory；　somehow。

She　avoided　her　rosary；　because；　moving　her　with　curious

passion　as　it　did；　it　meant　only　these　not　very

significant　things。　She　put　it　away。　It　was　her　instinct　to　put

all　these　things　away。　It　was　her　instinct　to　avoid　thinking；　to

avoid　it；　to　save　herself。

She　was　seventeen；　touchy；　full　of　spirits；　and　very　moody：

quick　to　flush；　and　always　uneasy；　uncertain。　For　some　reason　or

other；　she　turned　more　to　her　father；　she　felt　almost　flashes　of

hatred　for　her　mother。　Her　mothers　dark　muzzle　and　curiously

insidious　ways；　her　mothers　utter　surety　and　confidence；　her

strange　satisfaction；　even　triumph；　her　mothers　way　of　laughing

at　things　and　her　mothers　silent　overriding　of　vexatious

propositions；　most　of　all　her　mothers　triumphant　power　maddened

the　girl。

She　became　sudden　and　incalculable。　Often　she　stood　at　the

window；　looking　out；　as　if　she　wanted　to　go。　Sometimes　she　went；

she　mixed　with　people。　But　always　she　came　home　in　anger；　as　if

she　were　diminished；　belittled；　almost　degraded。

There　was　over　the　house　a　kind　of　dark　silence　and

intensity；　in　which　passion　worked　its　inevitable　conclusions。

There　was　in　the　house　a　sort　of　richness；　a　deep；　inarticulate

interchange　which　made　other　places　seem　thin　and　unsatisfying。

Brangwen　could　sit　silent；　smoking　in　his　chair；　the　mother

could　move　about　in　her　quiet；　insidious　way；　and　the　sense　of

the　two　presences　was　powerful；　sustaining。　The　whole

intercourse　was　wordless；　intense　and　close。

But　Anna　was　uneasy。　She　wanted　to　get　away。　Yet　wherever　she

went；　there　came　upon　her　that　feeling　of　thinness；　as　if　she

were　made　smaller；　belittled。　She　hastened　home。

There　she　raged　and　interrupted　the　strong；　settled

interchange。　Sometimes　her　mother　turned　on　her　with　a　fierce；

destructive　anger；　in　which　was　no　pity　or　consideration。　And

Anna　shrank；　afraid。　She　went　to　her　father。

He　would　still　listen　to　the　spoken　word；　which　fell　sterile

on　the　unheeding　mother。　Sometimes　Anna　talked　to　her　father。