小说园

第34部分（第3页）

his　soul　was　too　black。　He　had　destroyed　his　panel　of　Adam　and

Eve。　He　could　not　begin　again；　least　of　all　now；　whilst　he　was

in　this　condition。

For　her　there　was　no　final　release；　since　he　could　not　be

liberated　from　himself。　Strange　and　amorphous；　she　must　go

yearning　on　through　the　trouble；　like　a　warm；　glowing　cloud

blown　in　the　middle　of　a　storm。　She　felt　so　rich；　in　her　warm

vagueness；　that　her　soul　cried　out　on　him；　because　he　harried

her　and　wanted　to　destroy　her。

She　had　her　moments　of　exaltation　still；　re…births　of　old

exaltations。　As　she　sat　by　her　bedroom　window；　watching　the

steady　rain；　her　spirit　was　somewhere　far　off。

She　sat　in　pride　and　curious　pleasure。　When　there　was　no　one

to　exult　with；　and　the　unsatisfied　soul　must　dance　and　play；

then　one　danced　before　the　Unknown。

Suddenly　she　realized　that　this　was　what　she　wanted　to　do。

Big　with　child　as　she　was；　she　danced　there　in　the　bedroom　by

herself；　lifting　her　hands　and　her　body　to　the　Unseen；　to　the

unseen　Creator　who　had　chosen　her；　to　Whom　she　belonged。

She　would　not　have　had　anyone　know。　She　danced　in　secret；　and

her　soul　rose　in　bliss。　She　danced　in　secret　before　the　Creator；

she　took　off　her　clothes　and　danced　in　the　pride　of　her

bigness。

It　surprised　her；　when　it　was　over。　She　was　shrinking　and

afraid。　To　what　was　she　now　exposed？　She　half　wanted　to　tell　her

husband。　Yet　she　shrank　from　him。

All　the　time　she　ran　on　by　herself。　She　liked　the　story　of

David；　who　danced　before　the　Lord；　and　uncovered　himself

exultingly。　Why　should　he　uncover　himself　to　Michal；　a　mon

woman？　He　uncovered　himself　to　the　Lord。

〃Thou　est　to　me　with　a　sword　and　a　spear　and　a　shield；　but

I　e　to　thee　in　the　name　of　the　Lord：……for　the　battle　is

the　Lords；　and　he　will　give　you　into　our　hands。〃

Her　heart　rang　to　the　words。　She　walked　in　her　pride。　And　her

battle　was　her　own　Lords；　her　husband　was　delivered　over。

In　these　days　she　was　oblivious　of　him。　Who　was　he；　to　e

against　her？　No；　he　was　not　even　the　Philistine；　the　Giant。　He

was　like　Saul　proclaiming　his　own　kingship。　She　laughed　in　her

heart。　Who　was　he；　proclaiming　his　kingship？　She　laughed　in　her

heart　with　pride。