小说园

第31部分（第2页）

cried　with　vexation　and　disappointment。　Why　had　he　gone？　Why

couldnt　he　e　back　now？　Why　was　it　such　a　battle　between

them？　She　loved　him……she　did　love　him……why　couldnt　he

be　kinder　to　her；　nicer　to　her？

She　waited　in　distress……then　her　mood　grew　harder。　He

passed　out　of　her　thoughts。　She　had　considered　indignantly；　what

right　he　had　to　interfere　with　her　sewing？　She　had　indignantly

refuted　his　right　to　interfere　with　her　at　all。　She　was　not　to

be　interfered　with。　Was　she　not　herself；　and　he　the

outsider。

Yet　a　quiver　of　fear　went　through　her。　If　he　should　leave

her？　She　sat　conjuring　fears　and　sufferings；　till　she　wept　with

very　self…pity。　She　did　not　know　what　she　would　do　if　he　left

her；　or　if　he　turned　against　her。　The　thought　of　it　chilled　her；

made　her　desolate　and　hard。　And　against　him；　the　stranger；　the

outsider；　the　being　who　wanted　to　arrogate　authority；　she

remained　steadily　fortified。　Was　she　not　herself？　How　could　one

who　was　not　of　her　own　kind　presume　with　authority？　She　knew　she

was　immutable；　unchangeable；　she　was　not　afraid　for　her　own

being。　She　was　only　afraid　of　all　that　was　not　herself。　It

pressed　round　her；　it　came　to　her　and　took　part　in　her；　in　form

of　her　man；　this　vast；　resounding；　alien　world　which　was　not

herself。　And　he　had　so　many　weapons；　he　might　strike　from　so

many　sides。

When　he　came　in　at　the　door；　his　heart　was　blazed　with　pity

and　tenderness；　she　looked　so　lost　and　forlorn　and　young。　She

glanced　up；　afraid。　And　she　was　surprised　to　see　him；

shining…faced；　clear　and　beautiful　in　his　movements；　as　if　he

were　clarified。　And　a　startled　pang　of　fear；　and　shame　of

herself　went　through　her。

They　waited　for　each　other　to　speak。

〃Do　you　want　to　eat　anything？〃　she　said。

〃Ill　get　it　myself；〃　he　answered；　not　wanting　her　to　serve

him。　But　she　brought　out　food。　And　it　pleased　him　she　did　it　for

him。　He　was　again　a　bright　lord。