light?” the Hoja Effendi said; coyly trying to start an argument; but as you can
see from this picture; the Veian was a genuine artist; and he’d focused
upon the work before him and the money it’d bring rather than heeding the
Hoja’s empty prattle。
He did indeed paint us; and then slid us into the leather portfolio on the
back of his horse’s saddle; and returned to his infidel city。 Soon afterward; the
victorious armies of the Ottomans conquered and plundered that city on the
banks of the Danube; and the two of us ended up ing back this way to
Istanbul and the Royal Treasury。 From there; copied over and over; we moved
from one secret book to another; and finally arrived at this joyous coffeehouse
where coffee is drunk like a rejuvenating; invigorating elixir。 Now then:
334
A Brief Treatise on Painting; Death and Our Place in the World
The Hoja Effendi from Konya; whom we’ve just mentioned; has made the
following claim somewhere in one of his sermons; which are written out and
collected in a thick tome: Kalenderi dervishes are the unnecessary dross of the
world because they don’t belong to any of the four categories into which men
are divided: 1。 notables; 2。 merchants; 3。 farmers and 4。 artists; thus; they are
superfluous。
Additionally; he said the following: “These two always tramp about as a pair
and always argue about which of them will be the first to eat with their only
spoon; and those who don’t know that this is a sly allusion to their true
concern—who’ll be the first to bugger the other—find it amusing and laugh。
His Excellency Please…Don’t…Take…It…Wrong Hoja has uncovered our secret
because he; along with us; the pretty young boys; apprentices and miniaturists;
are all fellow travelers on the same path。”
The Real Secret
However; the real secret is this: While the Frank infidel was making our
picture; he gazed at us so sweetly and with such attention to detail that we
took a liking to him and enjoyed being depicted by him。 But; he was
mitting the error of looking at the world with his naked eye and rendering
what he saw。 Thus; he drew us as if we were blind although we could see just
fine; but we didn’t mind。 Now; we’re quite content; indeed。 According to the
Hoja; we’re in Hell; according to some unbelievers we’re nothing but decayed
corpses and according to you; the intelligent society of miniaturists gathered
here; we’re a picture; and because we’re a picture; we stand here before you as
though we were alive and well。 After our run…in with the respected Hoja