小说园

第20部分（第1页）

I　repeated　the　question　more　distinctly。

“Miss　Fairfax？　Oh；　you　mean　Miss　Varens！　Varens　is　the　name　of　your　future　pupil。”

“Indeed！　Then　she　is　not　your　daughter？”

“No；—I　have　no　family。”

I　should　have　followed　up　my　first　inquiry；　by　asking　in　what　way　Miss　Varens　was　connected　with　her；　but　I　recollected　it　was　not　polite　to　ask　too　many　questions：　besides；　I　was　sure　to　hear　in　time。

“I　am　so　glad；”　she　continued；　as　she　sat　down　opposite　to　me；　and　took　the　cat　on　her　knee；　“I　am　so　glad　you　are　e；　it　will　be　quite　pleasant　living　here　now　with　a　panion。　To　be　sure　it　is　pleasant　at　any　time；　for　Thornfield　is　a　fine　old　hall；　rather　neglected　of　late　years　perhaps；　but　still　it　is　a　respectable　place；　yet　you　know　in　winter…time　one　feels　dreary　quite　alone　in　the　best　quarters。　I　say　alone—Leah　is　a　nice　girl　to　be　sure；　and　John　and　his　wife　are　very　decent　people；　but　then　you　see　they　are　only　servants；　and　one　can’t　converse　with　them　on　terms　of　equality：　one　must　keep　them　at　due　distance；　for　fear　of　losing　one’s　authority。　I’m　sure　last　winter　（it　was　a　very　severe　one；　if　you　recollect；　and　when　it　did　not　snow；　it　rained　and　blew）；　not　a　creature　but　the　butcher　and　postman　came　to　the　house；　from　November　till　February；　and　I　really　got　quite　melancholy　with　sitting　night　after　night　alone；　I　had　Leah　in　to　read　to　me　sometimes；　but　I　don’t　think　the　poor　girl　liked　the　task　much：　she　felt　it　confining。　In　spring　and　summer　one　got　on　better：　sunshine　and　long　days　make　such　a　difference；　and　then；　just　at　the　mencement　of　this　autumn；　little　Adela　Varens　came　and　her　nurse：　a　child　makes　a　house　alive　all　at　once；　and　now　you　are　here　I　shall　be　quite　gay。”

My　heart　really　warmed　to　the　worthy　lady　as　I　heard　her　talk；　and　I　drew　my　chair　a　little　nearer　to　her；　and　expressed　my　sincere　wish　that　she　might　find　my　pany　as　agreeable　as　she　anticipated。

“But　I’ll　not　keep　you　sitting　up　late　to…night；”　said　she；　“it　is　on　the　stroke　of　twelve　now；　and　you　have　been　travelling　all　day：　you　must　feel　tired。　If　you　have　got　your　feet　well　warmed；　I’ll　show　you　your　bedroom。　I’ve　had　the　room　next　to　mine　prepared　for　you；　it　is　only　a　small　apartment；　but　I　thought　you　would　like　it　better　than　one　of　the　large　front　chambers：　to　be　sure　they　have　finer　furniture；　but　they　are　so　dreary　and　solitary；　I　never　sleep　in　them　myself。”

I　thanked　her　for　her　considerate　choice；　and　as　I　really　felt　fatigued　with　my　long　journey；　expressed　my　readiness　to　retire。　She　took　her　candle；　and　I　followed　her　from　the　room。　First　she　went　to　see　if　the　hall…door　was　fastened；　having　taken　the　key　from　the　lock；　she　led　the　way　upstairs。　The　steps　and　banisters　were　of　oak；　the　staircase　window　was　high　and　latticed；　both　it　and　the　long　gallery　into　which　the　bedroom　doors　opened　looked　as　if　they　belonged　to　a　church　rather　than　a　house。　A　very　chill　and　vault…　like　air　pervaded　the　stairs　and　gallery；　suggesting　cheerless　ideas　of　space　and　solitude；　and　I　was　glad；　when　finally　ushered　into　my　chamber；　to　find　it　of　small　dimensions；　and　furnished　in　ordinary；　modern　style。

When　Mrs。　Fairfax　had　bidden　me　a　kind　good…night；　and　I　had　fastened　my　door；　gazed　leisurely　round；　and　in　some　measure　effaced　the　eerie　impression　made　by　that　wide　hall；　that　dark　and　spacious　staircase；　and　that　long；　cold　gallery；　by　the　livelier　aspect　of　my　little　room；　I　remembered　that；　after　a　day　of　bodily　fatigue　and　mental　anxiety；　I　was　now　at　last　in　safe　haven。　The　impulse　of　gratitude　swelled　my　heart；　and　I　knelt　down　at　the　bedside；　and　offered　up　thanks　where　thanks　were　due；　not　forgetting；　ere　I　rose；　to　implore　aid　on　my　further　path；　and　the　power　of　meriting　the　kindness　which　seemed　so　frankly　offered　me　before　it　was　earned。　My　couch　had　no　thorns　in　it　that　night；　my　solitary　room　no　fears。　At　once　weary　and　content；　I　slept　soon　and　soundly：　when　I　awoke　it　was　broad　day。

The　chamber　looked　such　a　bright　little　place　to　me　as　the　sun　shone　in　between　the　gay　blue　chintz　window　curtains；　showing　papered　walls　and　a　carpeted　floor；　so　unlike　the　bare　planks　and　stained　plaster　of　Lowood；　that　my　spirits　rose　at　the　view。　Externals　have　a　great　effect　on　the　young：　I　thought　that　a　fairer　era　of　life　was　beginning　for　me；　one　that　was　to　have　its　flowers　and　pleasures；　as　well　as　its　thorns　and　toils。　My　faculties；　roused　by　the　change　of　scene；　the　new　field　offered　to　hope；　seemed　all　astir。　I　cannot　precisely　define　what　they　expected；　but　it　was　something　pleasant：　not　perhaps　that　day　or　that　month；　but　at　an　indefinite　future　period。

I　rose；　I　dressed　myself　with　care：　obliged　to　be　plain—for　I　had　no　article　of　attire　that　was　not　made　with　extreme　simplicity—I　was　still　by　nature　solicitous　to　be　neat。　It　was　not　my　habit　to　be　disregardful　of　appearance　or　careless　of　the　impression　I　made：　on　the　contrary；　I　ever　wished　to　look　as　well　as　I　could；　and　to　please　as　much　as　my　want　of　beauty　would　permit。　I　sometimes　regretted　that　I　was　not　handsomer；　I　sometimes　wished　to　have　rosy　cheeks；　a　straight　nose；　and　small　cherry　mouth；　I　desired　to　be　tall；　stately；　and　finely　developed　in　figure；　I　felt　it　a　misfortune　that　I　was　so　little；　so　pale；　and　had　features　so　irregular　and　so　marked。　And　why　had　I　these　aspirations　and　these　regrets？　It　would　be　difficult　to　say：　I　could　not　then　distinctly　say　it　to　myself；　yet　I　had　a　reason；　and　a　logical；　natural　reason　too。　However；　when　I　had　brushed　my　hair　very　smooth；　and　put　on　my　black　frock—which；　Quakerlike　as　it　was；　at　least　had　the　merit　of　fitting　to　a　nicety—and　adjusted　my　clean　white　tucker；　I　thought　I　should　do　respectably　enough　to　appear　before　Mrs。　Fairfax；　and　that　my　new　pupil　would　not　at　least　recoil　from　me　with　antipathy。　Having　opened　my　chamber　window；　and　seen　that　I　left　all　things　straight　and　neat　on　the　toilet　table；　I　ventured　forth。

Traversing　the　long　and　matted　gallery；　I　descended　the　slippery　steps　of　oak；　then　I　gained　the　hall：　I　halted　there　a　minute；　I　looked　at　some　pictures　on　the　walls　（one；　I　remember；　represented　a　grim　man　in　a　cuirass；　and　one　a　lady　with　powdered　hair　and　a　pearl　necklace）；　at　a　bronze　lamp　pendent　from　the　ceiling；　at　a　great　clock　whose　case　was　of　oak　curiously　carved；　and　ebon　black　with　time　and　rubbing。　Everything　appeared　very　stately　and　imposing　to　me；　but　then　I　was　so　little　accustomed　to　grandeur。　The　hall…door；　which　was　half　of　glass；　stood　open；　I　stepped　over　the　threshold。　It　was　a　fine　autumn　morning；　the　early　sun　shone　serenely　on　embrowned　groves　and　still　green　fields；　advancing　on　to　the　lawn；　I　looked　up　and　surveyed　the　front　of　the　mansion。　It　was　three　storeys　high；　of　proportions　not　vast；　though　considerable：　a　gentleman’s　manor…house；　not　a　nobleman’s　seat：　battlements　round　the　top　gave　it　a　picturesque　look。　Its　grey　front　stood　out　well　from　the　background　of　a　rookery；　whose　cawing　tenants　were　now　on　the　wing：　they　flew　over　the　lawn　and　grounds　to　alight　in　a　great　meadow；　from　which　these　were　separated　by　a　sunk　fence；　and　where　an　array　of　mighty　old　thorn　trees；　strong；　knotty；　and　broad　as　oaks；　at　once　explained　the　etymology　of　the　mansion’s　designation。　Farther　off　were　hills：　not　so　lofty　as　those　round　Lowood；　nor　so　craggy；　nor　so　like　barriers　of　separation　from　the　living　world；　but　yet　quiet　and　lonely　hills　enough；　and　seeming　to　embrace　Thornfield　with　a　seclusion　I　had　not　expected　to　find　existent　so　near　the　stirring　locality　of　Millcote。　A　little　hamlet；　whose　roofs　were　blent　with　trees；　straggled　up　the　side　of　one　of　these　hills；　the　church　of　the　district　stood　nearer　Thornfield：　its　old　tower…top　looked　over　a　knoll　between　the　house　and　gates。

I　was　yet　enjoying　the　calm　prospect　and　pleasant　fresh　air；　yet　listening　with　delight　to　the　cawing　of　the　rooks；　yet　surveying　the　wide；　hoary　front　of　the　hall；　and　thinking　what　a　great　place　it　was　for　one　lonely　little　dame　like　Mrs。　Fairfax　to　inhabit；　when　that　lady　appeared　at　the　door。

“What！　out　already？”　said　she。　“I　see　you　are　an　early　riser。”　I　went　up　to　her；　and　was　received　with　an　affable　kiss　and　shake　of　the　hand。

“How　do　you　like　Thornfield？”　she　asked。　I　told　her　I　liked　it　very　much。

“Yes；”　she　said；　“it　is　a　pretty　place；　but　I　fear　it　will　be　getting　out　of　order；　unless　Mr。　Rochester　should　take　it　into　his　head　to　e　and　reside　here　permanently；　or；　at　least；　visit　it　rather　oftener：　great　houses　and　fine　grounds　require　the　presence　of　the　proprietor。”

“Mr。　Rochester！”　I　exclaimed。　“Who　is　he？”

“The　owner　of　Thornfield；”　she　responded　quietly。　“Did　you　not　know　he　was　called　Rochester？”

Of　course　I　did　not—I　had　never　heard　of　him　before；　but　the　old　lady　seemed　to　regard　his　existence　as　a　universally　understood　fact；　with　which　everybody　must　be　acquainted　by　instinct。

“I　thought；”　I　continued；　“Thornfield　belonged　to　you。”

“To　me？　Bless　you；　child；　what　an　idea！　To　me！　I　am　only　the　housekeeper—the　manager。　To　be　sure　I　am　distantly　related　to　the　Rochesters　by　the　mother’s　side；　or　at　least　my　husband　was；　he　was　a　clergyman；　incumbent　of　Hay—that　little　village　yonder　on　the　hill—and　that　church　near　the　gates　was　his。　The　present　Mr。　Rochester’s　mother　was　a　Fairfax；　and　second　cousin　to　my　husband：　but　I　never　presume　on　the　connection—in　fact；　it　is　nothing　to　me；　I　consider　myself　quite　in　the　light　of　an　ordinary　housekeeper：　my　employer　is　always　civil；　and　I　expect　nothing　more。”

“And　the　little　girl—my　pupil！”

“She　is　Mr。　Rochester’s　ward；　he　missioned　me　to　find　a　governess　for　her。　He　intended　to　have　her　brought　up　in—shire；　I　believe。　Here　she　es；　with　her　‘bonne；’　as　she　calls　her　nurse。”　The　enigma　then　was　explained：　this　affable　and　kind　little　widow　was　no　great　dame；　but　a　dependant　like　myself。　I　did　not　like　her　the　worse　for　that；　on　the　contrary；　I　felt　better　pleased　than　ever。　The　equality　between　her　and　me　was　real；　not　the　mere　result　of　condescension　on　her　part：　so　much　the　better—my　position　was　all　the　freer。

As　I　was　meditating　on　this　discovery；　a　little　girl；　followed　by　her　attendant；　came　running　up　the　lawn。　I　looked　at　my　pupil；　who　did　not　at　first　appear　to　notice　me：　she　was　quite　a　child；　perhaps　seven　or　eight　years　old；　slightly　built；　with　a　pale；　small…featured　face；　and　a　redundancy　of　hair　falling　in　curls　to　her　waist。

“Good　morning；　Miss　Adela；”　said　Mrs。　Fairfax。　“e　and　speak　to　the　lady　who　is　to　teach　you；　and　to　make　you　a　clever　woman　some　day。”　She　approached。

“C’est　le　ma　gouverante！”　said　she；　pointing　to　me；　and　addressing　her　nurse；　who　answered—

“Mais　oui；　certainement。”

“Are　they　foreigners？”　I　inquired；　amazed　at　hearing　the　French　language。

“The　nurse　is　a　foreigner；　and　Adela　was　born　on　the　Continent；　and；　I　believe；　never　left　it　till　within　six　months　ago。　When　she　first　came　here　she　could　speak　no　English；　now　she　can　make　shift　to　talk　it　a　little：　I　don’t　understand　her；　she　mixes　it　so　with　French；　but　you　will　make　out　her　meaning　very　well；　I　dare　say。”

Fortunately　I　had　had　the　advantage　of　being　taught　French　by　a　French　lady；　and　as　I　had　always　made　a　point　of　conversing　with　Madame　Pierrot　as　often　as