小说园

第6部分（第2页）

hollywood　shuffle

This　morning；　as　I　was　walking　to　fetch　my　skinny　vanilla　latte　and　natural…grain　bagel；　I

couldn？t　help　but　notice　that　a　certain　very　blond　actress？s　picture　has　been　plasteredeverywhere

overnight？bus　stops；　the　sides　of　buildings。　That？s　right；　our　very　ownS　is　poised　to　bee　a

major　Hollywood　star？not　that　we　ever　doubted　it　for　a　second。S　is　being　touted　as　a　fair…haired；

modern…day　Audrey　Hepburn。　And　that　means；　cats　and　kittens；　that　we？ll　soon　be　purring

contentedly　as　we　gaze　up　atS　？s　celestial　face　on　the　big　screen。　Either　that；　or　we？ll　be　clawing

our　plush　velvet　seats　in　envy。　。　。　。

The　word　on　the　street　is　that；　due　to　phenomenal　early　reviews　inVariety　；Vanity　Fair　；

andEsquire　；　the　release　date　forBreakfast　at　Fred？s　has　been　pushed　up！　The　fun　begins　tomorrow

at　the　luxuriousSoho　House；　the　part　members…only　club；　part　hotel；　where　they？re　holding　a

bigBreakfast　at　Fred？s　press　conference。S　will　be　meeting　up　with　her　yummylicious　co…starT；　aka

my　new　boyfriend　（shhhhh　。　。　。　don？t　wake　me　up！　If　anyone　can　make　him　like　girls；　I　can）　who

is；　in　case　you？ve　been　residing　on　Mars；　currently　in　possession　of　the　hottest　six…pack　abs　this

side　of　the　Hudson。　Too　bad　he　pitches　for　the　other　team。　Anyone　who？s　anyone　on　the　gossip

circuit　will　be　there　to　watch　as　A　Star　is　Born？our　littleS　is　all　grown　up！？and　you　know　that

means　I？ll　find　a　way　in。　。　。　。

It？s　time　to　zip　yourself　into　that　purple　tapestry　Calypso　sheath；　don　your　Dior　shades；　raise　one

hand　in　protest　to　the　glaring　flashbulbs　while　exclaiming；　？Gentlemen！　No　pictures；please　！？　For

those　of　you　who　don？t　know　the　drill；　some　helpful　advice　from　yours　truly：

do？s　and　don？ts　for　attending　your　first　press　junket

（1）　Do　bring　sunglasses；　preferably　large　Chanel　or　Gucci　ones；　even　if　the　event　takes　place　at

night。Especially　if　it　takes　place　at　night。　Those　flashbulbs　really　are　blinding！　And　besides；

nothing　creates　an　air　of　mystery　like　a　pair　of　oversize　shades。

（2）　Do　escape　to　the　ladies？　room　for　frequent　makeup　touch…ups？nobody　likes　a　shiny　nose　on

camera。　Besides；　where　better　to　overhear　the　latest　gossip　about　the　premiere？and　spread　some　of

your　own。

（3）　Wear　indelible　lip　color；　or　a　sealant　over　your　favorite　shade：　getting　lipstick　on　your　teeth

during　an　interview　is　so　gauche？and　totally　avoidable。　Red…carpet　red　isalways　a　classic　choice。

（4）　Do　feel　free　to　have　a　fling　with　your　leading　man？after　all；　the　suiteis　booked　for　the　night！

And　don？t　worry？we　won？t　tell。

（5）　And；　most　importantly；　bring　the　hotness！　After　all；　it？sall　about　you！

sightings

Nat　theNY　Yacht　Club　having　cocktails　with　some　old　guy　in　a　sailor　suit。　DoesN　have　a　new