小说园

第31部分（第1页）

pigeons　and　spat…out　gum？

？Anyway；？　Ruby　went　on；　her　voice　as　breathless　as　if　she？d　been　running　the　10K；　？That？s　not

the　reallybig　news。　Are　you　sitting　down？？　？Yeah；？　Vanessa　lied；　distractedly　placing　her　ceramic

cup　in　the　microwave　and　setting　the　timer。

？We？re　getting　married！！！！！？

？What！？？Vanessa　sank　to　the　floor　in　front　of　the　microwave；　Folgers　crystals　scattering　all　over

the　linoleum　they？d　just　mopped　this　morning。Married？　ToPiotr　？　They？d　just　met　a　few　months

ago！　He　made　paintings　of　naked　women　anddogs　！　And　now　he　was　going　to　befamily　？　There

was　something　seriously　wrong　with　the　world。

Just　then　Dan？s　mom　glided　into　the　kitchen；　wearing　a　diaphanous；　floor…length　pink　dressing

gown　embroidered　with　hundreds　of　exotic　birds。　A　pasty；　fragrant　white　cream　that　smelled　like

pound　cake　covered　every　inch　of　her　face。　Her　fuzzy　pink　slippers　shuffled　against　the　linoleum

floor。　？Pardon　me；　I　forgot　to　take　my　vitamin　drink！？　Jeanette　whispered；　opening　the　refrigerator

and　pouring　a　noxious…looking　brown　liquid　into　a　Scooby…Doo　glass。　？Vitamins　are　nature？s　gift

to　us　all！？　she　trilled。　Vanessa　just　shook　her　head　as　Jeanette　smacked　her　lips　and　started　to　walk

back　to　Dan？s　room；　drinking　the　disgusting…looking　concoction　and　humming　as　she　went。

？Vanessa？　Can　you　hear　me？？　Ruby？s　voice　broke　the　silence。

？Um；　yeah。　Whatever。　I　mean；　congratulations；？　Vanessa　murmured　into　the　phone。　She　looked

up　to　see　Dan　standing　in　the　doorway。　He　shot　her　a　quizzical　look　and　mouthed；　？Are　you　okay？？

Vanessa　just　nodded　and　brought　the　phone　closer　to　her　ear。　Ruby　was　still　chattering　away

happily；　totally　oblivious　to　her　less…than…peppy　response。

？。　。　。　maid　of　honor；？　Vanessa　heard　her　sister？s　voice　say　over　the　low　hum　of　the　microwave。

She　sat　up　straighter。　？Maid　ofwhat　？？　she　asked　incredulously。　？Who　are　you？　Where？s　my

sister？？　Ruby　cackled。　？e　on；　you　know　you？re　dying　to　wear　a　big　Laura　Ashley　dress。？

Vanessa　got　to　her　feet　just　as　the　microwave　beeped　noisily。　No　fucking　way。

？So；　will　you　do　it？？　Her　sister？s　voice　rang　in　her　ears。　Slowly；　she　removed　the　mug　from　the

microwave；　handling　it　carefully　so　that　the　water　wouldn？t　spill　over　and　burn　her。　Although

maybe　a　third…degree　burn　would　get　her　out　of　any　wedding…related　duties。

Tempting。

Vanessa　sighed。　She　knew　she　couldn？t　say　no　to　her　sister；　even　if　Piotr　did　have　horrible　teeth

and　bestiality　issues。

？Yeah；　fine。　Whatever。　I？ll　do　it。？　She　took　a　sip　of　scalding　coffee　and　promptly　spat　it　out　all

over　her　cargo　pants。　？But　only　if　I　can　wear　my　own　clothes？there？s　no　way　in　hell　I？m　putting

on　one　of　those　totally　gay　pastel　bridesmaid　dresses。？　She　glanced　over　at　Dan；　who　had　pulled

the　hot　pink　silk　jumpsuit　out　of　one　of　his　mom？s　bags　and　was　holding　it　in　front　of　his　skinny