佚名nonymous
“Mother,”shesaid,lookingdownattheolderwomanwhosatinthewheelchair。Sheignoredtheotherresidentsofthenursinghomearoundthem。“Mother,Iknownow。Iunderstand。”
Thewomanlookeduandsmiledather。“Sonya,itsalwayssogoodtoseeyou。”shesaid。
“Whydidntyoutellmewhatyouweredoing?”askedSonya。Shedroedintoachairbesidethewheelchair,sothatsheandhermothercouldbeonthesamelevel。“Alltheseyears,andyounevertoldme。”
“Idontknowwhatyouretalkingabout,”saidtheolderwoman。“Howisyourjobgoing?Wereyouromoted,asyouwantedtobe?”
“Idontwanttotalkaboutmyjob。Iwanttotalktoyouaboutwhatyouvedonetomakemesuccessful。”
“Ididntdoanything。Youvedoneitall。Alltheeducation,allthehardwork……”
“No!”Sonyastooduagain,unabletokeestill。“Youvebeendoingitall!WhenIwasinhighschoolandIsaidIneededhelwiththehigherlevelmathcourses,becauseIcouldntfigureanyofitout,yousaidIshouldntworry。”
“Youdidfine。”saidhermother。
“Yes!Becauseyougavemeyourmathability!Afterthat,youcouldntevenbalanceyourcheckbook,remember?”
Sheshrugged。“Wheneolegetolder,theystarttoslowdown。”
“Youhadagraduatedegreeinmathematics。Youwereabrilliantteacher。ButafterIstarteddoingwellinhighschoolmath,youlostallyourabilities。Tellmeitwasacoincidence!”
“Darling,youreuset。Probablytoomuchstress。”
“No!No!Icantstandtakingfromyouanymore!IneverwantedtogotogradschoolforthatMBA。Ineverhadtheambition。Butyoudid。Youhadmoreambitionthantenwomen!UntilIneededit,andthen-thensuddenlyIburnedwiththedesiretorovemyselfandyou-yougaveu。Thatswhenyoustartedworkingatthesuermarket。”
“Iwantedalowerstressjob。”
“ItoldyouIwaslonelybutIthoughtIwouldneverfindanyonewhowouldwanttomarryme,andthensuddenlyBobturnedintothemostcommittedmanIcouldeverimagine,andDadsuddenlylostinterestinyouandwanderedoffwiththatstuidwomanacrossthestreet。”
“NowsurelyyourenotsayingImresonsibleforyourfathersfailings,areyou?”askedhermother,smilingweakly。
“Imsayingyougaveuyourowndesirability,togiveittome!Attremendouscosttoyou!Butthatwasntall,either,wasit?”
“Sonya,youreallyshouldntgetyourselfworkeduthisway。Itcantbegoodforyou。”
“Andthen,”Sonyacontinued,ignoringtheolderwoman,“whenIneededthatextraenergytodoalltheworkIhadtodoinmyfirstexecutiveosition,suddenlyIhadtheenergyIneeded,andyoucouldbarelydragyourselfoutofbedinthemorning!”
“Ijustwantedtoseeyousucceed。”
“Why?”Sonyadroeddownonherkneesinfrontofhermotherswheelchair,clutchinghermothersfrailhands。“Whydidyoudoallthistoyourself?Why?Imnotworthit,Mom!NosuccessIvehadinmylifeisworthwhatyouvedonetoyourself,forme!”
“Oh,”saidhermother,strokingSonyashair,“yourewrongaboutthat。EverythingIdid,everythingIgaveu,wasworthitbecauseofyou,ofwhatyouvemadeofyourself。”
“Mom,Mom,lease,Imbeggingyou,takeitback。Idontwantmysuccessontheseterms!Idontwanttoseeyougrowmoreandmorefrail,moreandmorehelless,justsothatIcangrowstrongerandricherandmorefamous!”
“Whatsholdingyoubacknow?”askedhermother。“Whydidntyougettheromotion?”
“Imnotgoingtotellyou!Arentyoulisteningtome?Idontwantyoutodomoretoyourselfforme!”
Hermotherlookeddownatherforafewseconds,andthennodded。“Ah,yes,Isee。Iunderstand,dear。Yourealmostthere,arentyou?Youjustneedalittlemore,justatadmorestrength,butitsallright。Youregoingtogetit,dontworry。”
Sonyaraisedherhead,horrified。“No,Mom!Itoldyou,Idontwantit!Dont-whateveryouregoingtodo,dontdoit!”
Hermothersheadsnaedbackwards,andhereyesrolledinherhead。Sonya,horrified,clutchedathermotherswrist。Theulsewasbarelydiscernible。Sonyascreamed,andtheersonnelatthenursinghomerushedtowardthem。
Butbeforetheyarrived,hermotherseyesoenedforasecond,andforthelasttime,Sonyasawtheintelligenceshealwaysrememberedinhermother。“Haveadaughter,”hermotherbreathed。“Doitforher。”