小说园

第43部分（第1页）

After　a　long　bout　of　hostility；　Anna　at　last　closed　with　him。

She　had　now　four　children；　all　girls。　For　seven　years　she　had

been　absorbed　in　wifehood　and　motherhood。　For　years　he　had　gone

on　beside　her；　never　really　encroaching　upon　her。　Then　gradually

another　self　seemed　to　assert　its　being　within　him。　He　was　still

silent　and　separate。　But　she　could　feel　him　all　the　while　ing

near　upon　her；　as　if　his　breast　and　his　body　were　threatening

her；　and　he　was　always　ing　closer。　Gradually　he　became

indifferent　of　responsibility。　He　would　do　what　pleased　him；　and

no　more。

He　began　to　go　away　from　home。　He　went　to　Nottingham　on

Saturdays；　always　alone；　to　the　football　match　and　to　the

music…hall；　and　all　the　time　he　was　watching；　in　readiness。　He

never　cared　to　drink。　But　with　his　hard；　golden…brown　eyes；　so

keen　seeing　with　their　tiny　black　pupils；　he　watched　all　the

people；　everything　that　happened；　and　he　waited。

In　the　Empire　one　evening　he　sat　next　to　two　girls。　He　was

aware　of　the　one　beside　him。　She　was　rather　small；　mon；　with

a　fresh　plexion　and　an　upper　lip　that　lifted　from　her　teeth；

so　that；　when　she　was　not　conscious；　her　mouth　was　slightly　open

and　her　lips　pressed　outwards　in　a　kind　of　blind　appeal。　She　was

strongly　aware　of　the　man　next　to　her；　so　that　all　her　body　was

still；　very　still。　Her　face　watched　the　stage。　Her　arms　went

down　into　her　lap；　very　self…conscious　and　still。

A　gleam　lit　up　in　him：　should　he　begin　with　her？　Should　he

begin　with　her　to　live　the　other；　the　unadmitted　life　of　his

desire？　Why　not？　He　had　always　been　so　good。　Save　for　his　wife；

he　was　a　virgin。　And　why；　when　all　women　were　different？　Why；

when　he　would　only　live　once？　He　wanted　the　other　life。　His　own

life　was　barren；　not　enough。　He　wanted　the　other。

Her　open　mouth；　showing　the　small；　irregular；　white　teeth；

appealed　to　him。　It　was　open　and　ready。　It　was　so　vulnerable。

Why　should　he　not　go　in　and　enjoy　what　was　there？　The　slim　arm

that　went　down　so　still　and　motionless　to　the　lap；　it　was

pretty。　She　would　be　small；　he　would　be　able　almost　to　hold　her