小说园

第67部分（第2页）

years　he　had　gone　on　at　this　office　as　a　draughtsman；　doing　work

in　which　he　had　no　interest；　because　it　seemed　his　allotted

work。　The　growing　up　of　his　daughters；　their　developing

rejection　of　old　forms　set　him　also　free。

He　was　a　man　of　ceaseless　activity。　Blindly；　like　a　mole；　he

pushed　his　way　out　of　the　earth　that　covered　him；　working　always

away　from　the　physical　element　in　which　his　life　was　captured。

Slowly；　blindly；　gropingly；　with　what　initiative　was　left　to

him；　he　made　his　way　towards　individual　expression　and

individual　form。

At　last；　after　twenty　years；　he　came　back　to　his　woodcarving；

almost　to　the　point　where　he　had　left　off　his　Adam　and　Eve

panel；　when　he　was　courting。　But　now　he　had　knowledge　and　skill

without　vision。　He　saw　the　puerility　of　his　young　conceptions；

he　saw　the　unreal　world　in　which　they　had　been　conceived。　He　now

had　a　new　strength　in　his　sense　of　reality。　He　felt　as　if　he

were　real；　as　if　he　handled　real　things。　He　had　worked　for　many

years　at　Cossethay；　building　the　organ　for　the　church；　restoring

the　woodwork；　gradually　ing　to　a　knowledge　of　beauty　in　the

plain　labours。　Now　he　wanted　again　to　carve　things　that　were

utterances　of　himself。

But　he　could　not　quite　hitch　on……always　he　was　too　busy；

too　uncertain；　confused。　Wavering；　he　began　to　study　modelling。

To　his　surprise　he　found　he　could　do　it。　Modelling　in　clay；　in

plaster；　he　produced　beautiful　reproductions；　really　beautiful。

Then　he　set…to　to　make　a　head　of　Ursula；　in　high　relief；　in　the

Donatello　manner。　In　his　first　passion；　he　got　a　beautiful

suggestion　of　his　desire。　But　the　pitch　of　concentration　would

not　e。　With　a　little　ash　in　his　mouth　he　gave　up。　He

continued　to　copy；　or　to　make　designs　by　selecting　motives　from

classic　stuff。　He　loved　the　Della　Robbia　and　Donatello　as　he　had

loved　Fra　Angelico　when　he　was　a　young　man。　His　work　had　some　of

the　freshness；　the　naive　alertness　of　the　early　Italians。　But　it

was　only　reproduction。

Having　reached　his　limit　in　modelling；　he　turned　to　painting。

But　he　tried　water…colour　painting　after　the　manner　of　any　other

amateur。　He　got　his　results　but　was　not　much　interested。　After

one　or　two　drawings　of　his　beloved　church；　which　had　the　same

alertness　as　his　modelling；　he　seemed　to　be　incongruous　with　the

modern　atmospheric　way　of　painting；　so　that　his　church　tower