小说园

第85部分（第1页）

blind；　eager　wave　urging　blindly　forward；　dark　with　the　same

homogeneous　desire。　And　all　their　talk　and　all　their　behaviour

was　sham；　they　were　dressed…up　creatures。　She　was　reminded　of

the　Invisible　Man；　who　was　a　piece　of　darkness　made　visible　only

by　his　clothes。

During　the　next　weeks；　all　the　time　she　went　about　in　the

same　dark　richness；　her　eyes　dilated　and　shining　like　the　eyes

of　a　wild　animal；　a　curious　half…smile　which　seemed　to　be　gibing

at　the　civic　pretence　of　all　the　human　life　about　her。

〃What　are　you；　you　pale　citizens？〃　her　face　seemed　to　say；

gleaming。　〃You　subdued　beast　in　sheeps　clothing；　you　primeval

darkness　falsified　to　a　social　mechanism。〃

She　went　about　in　the　sensual　sub…consciousness　all　the　time；

mocking　at　the　ready…made；　artificial　daylight　of　the　rest。

〃They　assume　selves　as　they　assume　suits　of　clothing；〃　she

said　to　herself；　looking　in　mocking　contempt　at　the　stiffened；

neutralized　men。　〃They　think　it　better　to　be　clerks　or

professors　than　to　be　the　dark；　fertile　beings　that　exist　in　the

potential　darkness。　What　do　you　think　you　are？〃　her　soul　asked

of　the　professor　as　she　sat　opposite　him　in　class。　〃What　do　you

think　you　are；　as　you　sit　there　in　your　gown　and　your

spectacles？　You　are　a　lurking；　blood…sniffing　creature　with　eyes

peering　out　of　the　jungle　darkness；　snuffing　for　your　desires。

That　is　what　you　are；　though　nobody　would　believe　it；　and

you　would　be　the　very　last　to　allow　it。〃

Her　soul　mocked　at　all　this　pretence。　Herself；　she　kept　on

pretending。　She　dressed　herself　and　made　herself　fine；　she

attended　her　lectures　and　scribbled　her　notes。　But　all　in　a　mood

of　superficial；　mocking　facility。　She　understood　well　enough

their　two…and…two…make…four　tricks。　She　was　as　clever　as　they

were。　But　care！……did　she　care　about　their　monkey　tricks　of

knowledge　or　learning　or　civic　deportment？　She　did　not　care　in

the　least。

There　was　Skrebensky；　there　was　her　dark；　vital　self。　Outside

the　college；　the　outer　darkness；　Skrebensky　was　waiting。　On　the

edge　of　the　night；　he　was　attentive。　Did　he　care？

She　was　free　as　a　leopard　that　sends　up　its　raucous　cry　in

the　night。　She　had　the　potent；　dark　stream　of　her　own　blood；　she

had　the　glimmering　core　of　fecundity；　she　had　her　mate；　her

plement；　her　sharer　in　fruition。　So；　she　had　all；