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第43部分(第2页)

pass on。 I also understood that death would make me a wiser man。

Noheless; I was overe with the indecision of a man about to take a

long journey and unable to refrain from taking one last glance at his room; at

his belongings and his home。 In a panic I wished to see my daughter one last

time。 I wanted this so badly I was prepared to grit my teeth for a while longer

and endure the pain and my increasing thirst; to wait for Shekure’s return。

And thus; the deathly and gentle light before me faded somewhat; and my

mind  opened  itself  up  to  the  sounds  and  noises  of  the  world  in  which  I  lay

dying。  I  could  hear  my  murderer  roaming  around  the  room;  opening  the

cabi; rifling through my papers and searching intently for the last picture。

When he came up empty…handed; I heard him pry open my paint set and kick

the chests; boxes; inkpots and folding worktable。 I sensed that I was groaning

now and then and making odd twitching gestures with my old arms and tired

legs。 And I waited。

My pain was not abating in the least。 I grew increasingly silent and could no

longer stand to grit my teeth; but again; I held on; waiting。

Then  it  occurred  to  me;  if  Shekure  came  home;  she  might  encounter  my

ruthless  murderer。  I  didn’t  want  to  even  think  about  this。  At  that  instant;  I

sensed that my murderer had exited the room。 He’d probably found the last

painting。

I’d bee excessively thirsty but still I waited。 e now; dear daughter;

my pretty Shekure; show yourself。

She did not e。

192

I  no  longer  had  strength  to  withstand  the  suffering。  I  knew  I  would  die

without seeing her。 This seemed so bitter I wanted to die of misery。 Afterward;

a face I’d never seen before appeared to my left; and smiling all the while; he

kindly offered me a glass of water。

Forgetting all else; I greedily reached for the water。

He pulled the glass back: “Denounce the Prophet Muhammad as a liar;” he

said。 “Deny all that he has said。”

It was Satan。 I didn’t answer; I wasn’t even afraid of him。 Since I never once

believed that painting amounted to being duped by him; I waited confidently。

I dreamed of the endless journey that awaited me and of my future。

Meanwhile;  as  I  was  approached  by  the  illuminated  angel  whom  I’d  just

seen; Satan vanished。 Part of me knew that this glowing angel who had caused

Satan to flee was Azrael。 But another rebellious part of my mind remembered

that in the Book of the Apocalypse it was written that Azrael was an angel with

one thousand wings spanning East and West and that he held the whole world

in his hands。

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