小说园

第4部分（第3页）

true。　He　looked　around　again　at　all　the　old　sailors；　each　and　every　one　a　man　who？d　chosen　a　path

in　life　and　stuck　with　it。　One　had　even　lost　an　eye　over　what　he？d　chosen。　Or　maybe　they　were　just

a　bunch　of　old　seaworthy　fuckups。

？I？ll　tell　you　one　thing。？　Chips　closed　his　menu　and　leaned　across　the　table。　？You？ve　got　to　think

with　your　balls；　not　your　dick。？　His　breath　smelled　like　applesauce　laced　with　grain

alcohol。　？Because　the　men　who　think　with　their　dicks　are　cowards；？　he　finished；　leaning　back　and

nodding　sagely。

Nate　felt　himself　nodding　back；　even　though　he　had　no　idea　what　Chips　was　talking　about。　Had

he　been　thinking　with　his　balls　or　his　dick？　Was　he　a　coward？　Itwas　kind　of　cowardly　not　to　have

told　Blair　that　he　hadn？t　really　graduated；　that　he　wasn？t　going　to　Yale　with　her。　。　。　。

Chips　summoned　the　waiter　again。　？Two　hard…boiled　eggs　and　a　shaker　of　salt；？　he

manded。　？For　both　of　us。？　Nate　surrendered　his　menu　to　the　waiter。　Chips　seemed　to　think

his　？I　don？t　know　what　I　want？　was　about　the　food。　Nate　hated　hard…boiled　eggs；　and　all　this　talk

of　thinking　with　his　dick　and　balls　had　kind　of　taken　away　his　appetite　for　anything　but　that　strong；

barely　drinkable　scotch；　anyway。

Well；　drink　up；　honey。　It　might　help　you　grow　some。

v？s　tea　party　for　two

Vanessa　stepped　through　the　doors　of　the　Galapagos　Art　Space　in　Brooklyn　and　looked　around。

The　room　was　cavernous　and　densely　packed　with　Williamsburg　hipsters　wearing　striped　shirts

and　sporting　asymmetrical　haircuts。　Bar…height　tables　were　sprinkled　haphazardly　throughout　the

room　like　croutons　on　a　salad；　and　the　grating　sounds　of　three…chord　punk　blasted　from　the

loudspeakers。　Vanessa　spied　Ruby？s　bandmates　fussing　with　wires　and　plugs　on　a　platform　in　the

center　of　the　room。　The　drum　kit　was　adorned　with　the　word　SUGARDADDY；　their　band？s　name；

in　garish　red　letters。　She　scanned　the　stage　for　Ruby；　but　her　sister　was　nowhere　in　sight。

As　Vanessa　maneuvered　her　way　to　the　front　of　the　room；　protecting　her　camera　from　dirty　art

boys　and　their　Jack…and…Cokes；　she　spotted　Piotr　sitting　at　a　table　right　in　front　of　the　stage；　a　full

pitcher　of　Coke　sitting　in　front　of　him。　When　Piotr　saw　her；　he　waved　her　over。　Vanessa　sighed；

wishing　she　were　more　excited　about　filming　her　sister？s　last　gig　as　a　single　woman。　She　needed　it

to　round　out　the　Ruby

Retrospective　she　was　making　for　her　sister？s　wedding　present；　but　the　reality　of　shooting　the

shit　with　her　futurebrother…in…law　；　whom　her　sister　would　bemarrying　in　just　five　days；　was　kind

of　unbearable。　Vanessa　kept　forcing　herself　to　say　wedding…related　words　over　and　over　again　in

her　head　to　make　it　more　real。