小说园

第18部分（第4页）

and　fulfilled　their　shining　lives；　whilst　queens　and　ladies　and

princesses　upheld　the　noble　order。

She　had　recognized　the　Baron　Skrebensky　as　a　real　person；　he

had　had　some　regard　for　her。　But　when　she　did　not　see　him　any

more；　he　faded　and　became　a　memory。　But　as　a　memory　he　was

always　alive　to　her。

Anna　became　a　tall；　awkward　girl。　Her　eyes　were　still　very

dark　and　quick；　but　they　had　grown　careless；　they　had　lost　their

watchful；　hostile　look。　Her　fierce；　spun　hair　turned　brown；　it

grew　heavier　and　was　tied　back。　She　was　sent　to　a　young　ladies

school　in　Nottingham。

And　at　this　period　she　was　absorbed　in　being　a　young　lady。

She　was　intelligent　enough；　but　not　interested　in　learning。　At

first；　she　thought　all　the　girls　at　school　very　ladylike　and

wonderful；　and　she　wanted　to　be　like　them。　She　came　to　a　speedy

disillusion：　they　galled　and　maddened　her；　they　were　petty　and

mean。　After　the　loose；　generous　atmosphere　of　her　home；　where

little　things　did　not　count；　she　was　always　uneasy　in　the　world；

that　would　snap　and　bite　at　every　trifle。

A　quick　change　came　over　her。　She　mistrusted　herself；　she

mistrusted　the　outer　world。　She　did　not　want　to　go　on；　she　did

not　want　to　go　out　into　it；　she　wanted　to　go　no　further。

〃What　do　I　care　about　that　lot　of　girls？〃　she　would

say　to　her　father；　contemptuously；　〃they　are　nobody。〃

The　trouble　was　that　the　girls　would　not　accept　Anna　at　her

measure。　They　would　have　her　according　to　themselves　or　not　at

all。　So　she　was　confused；　seduced；　she　became　as　they　were　for　a

time；　and　then；　in　revulsion；　she　hated　them　furiously。

〃Why　dont　you　ask　some　of　your　girls　here？〃　her　father　would

say。

〃Theyre　not　ing　here；〃　she　cried。

〃And　why　not？〃

〃Theyre　bagatelle；〃　she　said；　using　one　of　her　mothers　rare

phrases。

〃Bagatelles　or　billiards；　it　makes　no　matter；　theyre　nice

young　lasses　enough。〃

But　Anna　was　not　to　be　won　over。　She　had　a　curious　shrinking

from　monplace　people；　and　particularly　from　the　young　lady　of

her　day。　She　would　not　go　into　pany　because　of　the

ill…at…ease　feeling　other　people　brought　upon　her。　And　she　never