last anguish of delight。
What did it matter who they were; whether they knew each
other or not?
The hour passed away again; there was severance between them;
and rage and misery and bereavement for her; and deposition and
toiling at the mill with slaves for him。 But no matter。 They had
had their hour; and should it chime again; they were ready for
it; ready to renew the game at the point where it was left off;
on the edge of the outer darkness; when the secrets within the
woman are game for the man; hunted doggedly; when the secrets of
the woman are the mans adventure; and they both give themselves
to the adventure。
She was with child; and there was again the silence and
distance between them。 She did not want him nor his secrets nor
his game; he was deposed; he was cast out。 He seethed with fury
at the small; ugly…mouthed woman who had nothing to do with him。
Sometimes his anger broke on her; but she did not cry。 She
turned on him like a tiger; and there was battle。
He had to learn to contain himself again; and he hated it。 He
hated her that she was not there for him。 And he took himself
off; anywhere。
But an instinct of gratitude and a knowledge that she would
receive him back again; that later on she would be there for him
again; prevented his straying very far。 He cautiously did not go
too far。 He knew she might lapse into ignorance of him; lapse
away from him; farther; farther; farther; till she was lost to
him。 He had sense enough; premonition enough in himself; to be
aware of this and to measure himself accordingly。 For he did not
want to lose her: he did not want her to lapse away。
Cold; he called her; selfish; only caring about herself; a
foreigner with a bad nature; caring really about nothing; having
no proper feelings at the bottom of her; and no proper niceness。
He raged; and piled up accusations that had some measure of
truth in them all。 But a certain grace in him forbade him from
going too far。 He knew; and he quivered with rage and hatred;
that she was all these vile things; that she was everything vile