小说园

第5部分（第4页）

that　first　arrested　him。

She　had　heard　the　cart；　and　looked　up。　Her　face　was　pale　and

clear；　she　had　thick　dark　eyebrows　and　a　wide　mouth；　curiously

held。　He　saw　her　face　clearly；　as　if　by　a　light　in　the　air。　He

saw　her　face　so　distinctly；　that　he　ceased　to　coil　on　himself；

and　was　suspended。

〃Thats　her；〃　he　said　involuntarily。　As　the　cart　passed　by；

splashing　through　the　thin　mud；　she　stood　back　against　the　bank。

Then；　as　he　walked　still　beside　his　britching　horse；　his　eyes

met　hers。　He　looked　quickly　away；　pressing　back　his　head；　a　pain

of　joy　running　through　him。　He　could　not　bear　to　think　of

anything。

He　turned　round　at　the　last　moment。　He　saw　her　bonnet；　her

shape　in　the　black　cloak；　the　movement　as　she　walked。　Then　she

was　gone　round　the　bend。

She　had　passed　by。　He　felt　as　if　he　were　walking　again　in　a

far　world；　not　Cossethay；　a　far　world；　the　fragile　reality。　He

went　on；　quiet；　suspended；　rarefied。　He　could　not　bear　to　think

or　to　speak；　nor　make　any　sound　or　sign；　nor　change　his　fixed

motion。　He　could　scarcely　bear　to　think　of　her　face。　He　moved

within　the　knowledge　of　her；　in　the　world　that　was　beyond

reality。

The　feeling　that　they　had　exchanged　recognition　possessed　him

like　a　madness；　like　a　torment。　How　could　he　be　sure；　what

confirmation　had　he？　The　doubt　was　like　a　sense　of　infinite

space；　a　nothingness；　annihilating。　He　kept　within　his　breast

the　will　to　surety。　They　had　exchanged　recognition。

He　walked　about　in　this　state　for　the　next　few　days。　And　then

again　like　a　mist　it　began　to　break　to　let　through　the　mon；

barren　world。　He　was　very　gentle　with　man　and　beast；　but　he

dreaded　the　starkness　of　disillusion　cropping　through　again。

As　he　was　standing　with　his　back　to　the　fire　after　dinner　a

few　days　later；　he　saw　the　woman　passing。　He　wanted　to　know　that

she　knew　him；　that　she　was　aware。　He　wanted　it　said　that　there

was　something　between　them。　So　he　stood　anxiously　watching；

looking　at　her　as　she　went　down　the　road。　He　called　to

Tilly。