小说园

第29部分（第5页）

we　forgive　them　that　trespass　against　us〃……it　simply　did

not　touch　him。　It　might　have　been　more　sounds；　and　it　would　have

acted　upon　him　in　the　same　way。　He　did　not　want　things　to　be

intelligible。　And　he　did　not　care　about　his　trespasses；　neither

about　the　trespasses　of　his　neighbour；　when　he　was　in　church。

Leave　that　care　for　weekdays。　When　he　was　in　church；　he　took　no

more　notice　of　his　daily　life。　It　was　weekday　stuff。　As　for　the

welfare　of　mankind……he　merely　did　not　realize　that　there

was　any　such　thing：　except　on　weekdays；　when　he　was　good…natured

enough。　In　church；　he　wanted　a　dark；　nameless　emotion；　the

emotion　of　all　the　great　mysteries　of　passion。

He　was　not　interested　in　the　thought　of　himself　or　of

her：　oh；　and　how　that　irritated　her！　He　ignored　the　sermon；　he

ignored　the　greatness　of　mankind；　he　did　not　admit　the　immediate

importance　of　mankind。　He　did　not　care　about　himself　as　a　human

being。　He　did　not　attach　any　vital　importance　to　his　life　in　the

drafting　office；　or　his　life　among　men。　That　was　just　merely　the

margin　to　the　text。　The　verity　was　his　connection　with　Anna　and

his　connection　with　the　Church；　his　real　being　lay　in　his　dark

emotional　experience　of　the　Infinite；　of　the　Absolute。　And　the

great　mysterious；　illuminated　capitals　to　the　text；　were　his

feelings　with　the　Church。

It　exasperated　her　beyond　measure。　She　could　not　get　out　of

the　Church　the　satisfaction　he　got。　The　thought　of　her　soul　was

intimately　mixed　up　with　the　thought　of　her　own　self。　Indeed；

her　soul　and　her　own　self　were　one　and　the　same　in　her。　Whereas

he　seemed　simply　to　ignore　the　fact　of　his　own　self；　almost　to

refute　it。　He　had　a　soul……a　dark；　inhuman　thing　caring

nothing　for　humanity。　So　she　conceived　it。　And　in　the　gloom　and

the　mystery　of　the　Church　his　soul　lived　and　ran　free；　like　some

strange；　underground　thing；　abstract。

He　was　very　strange　to　her；　and；　in　this　church　spirit；　in

conceiving　himself　as　a　soul；　he　seemed　to　escape　and　run　free

of　her。　In　a　way；　she　envied　it　him；　this　dark　freedom　and

jubilation　of　the　soul；　some　strange　entity　in　him。　It

fascinated　her。　Again　she　hated　it。　And　again；　she　despised　him；

wanted　to　destroy　it　in　him。

This　snowy　morning；　he　sat　with　a　dark…bright　face　beside

her；　not　aware　of　her；　and