小说园

第39部分（第1页）

which　all　and　everything　must　move　on　to　eternity。

But　now；　somehow；　sadly　and　disillusioned；　he　realized　that

the　doorway　was　no　doorway。　It　was　too　narrow；　it　was　false。

Outside　the　cathedral　were　many　flying　spirits　that　could　never

be　sifted　through　the　jewelled　gloom。　He　had　lost　his

absolute。

He　listened　to　the　thrushes　in　the　gardens　and　heard　a　note

which　the　cathedrals　did　not　include：　something　free　and

careless　and　joyous。　He　crossed　a　field　that　was　all　yellow　with

dandelions；　on　his　way　to　work；　and　the　bath　of　yellow　glowing

was　something　at　once　so　sumptuous　and　so　fresh；　that　he　was

glad　he　was　away　from　his　shadowy　cathedral。

There　was　life　outside　the　Church。　There　was　much　that　the

Church　did　not　include。　He　thought　of　God；　and　of　the　whole　blue

rotunda　of　the　day。　That　was　something　great　and　free。　He

thought　of　the　ruins　of　the　Grecian　worship；　and　it　seemed；　a

temple　was　never　perfectly　a　temple；　till　it　was　ruined　and

mixed　up　with　the　winds　and　the　sky　and　the　herbs。

Still　he　loved　the　Church。　As　a　symbol；　he　loved　it。　He

tended　it　for　what　it　tried　to　represent；　rather　than　for　that

which　it　did　represent。　Still　he　loved　it。　The　little　church

across　his　garden…wall　drew　him；　he　gave　it　loving　attention。

But　he　went　to　take　charge　of　it；　to　preserve　it。　It　was　as　an

old；　sacred　thing　to　him。　He　looked　after　the　stone　and

woodwork；　mending　the　organ　and　restoring　a　piece　of　broken

carving；　repairing　the　church　furniture。　Later；　he　became

choir…master　also。

His　life　was　shifting　its　centre；　being　more　superficial。

He　had　failed　to　bee　really　articulate；　failed　to　find　real

expression。　He　had　to　continue　in　the　old　form。　But　in　spirit；

he　was　uncreated。

Anna　was　absorbed　in　the　child　now；　she　left　her　husband　to

take　his　own　way。　She　was　willing　now　to　postpone　all　adventure

into　unknown　realities。　She　had　the　child；　her　palpable　and

immediate　future　was　the　child。　If　her　soul　had　found　no

utterance；　her　womb　had。

The　church　that　neighboured　with　his　house　became　very

intimate　and　dear　to　him。　He　cherished　it；　he　had　it　entirely　in

his　charge。　If　he　could　find　no　new　activity；　he　would　be　happy

cherishing　the　old；　dear　form　of　worship。　He　knew　this　little；