小说园

第20部分（第2页）

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Disclaimer：　All　the　real　names　of　places；　people；　and　events　have　been　altered　or　abbreviated　to

protect　the　innocent。　Namely；　me。

hey　people！

The　Met　party　is　finally　here；　and　I？ve　spent　all　day　at　Bliss　in　preparation　for　tonight？s

festivities；　having　every　gorgeous　inch　of　me　waxed；　buffed；　and　painted　for　the　occasion。　It？s

time　to　slide　my　kissably　smooth　body　into　my　favorite　new　silk　Gucci　dress　and　paint　the　town

pink？if　I　can　ever　get　away　from　my　mirror；　that　is。　Translation：　Better　make　this　a　quickie。

TonightB　？s　kooky　family　will　attempt　to　out…f？te　every　f？te　ever　held　at　the　Met；　so　be　sure　to

wear　your　end…of…summer…blowout…best。　If　you　weren？t　invited；　don？t　feel　too　bad。　While　you？re

stuck　at　home　watching　reruns　ofGrey？s　Anatomy；　I？ll　be　doing　the　exhausting　work　of　keeping

tabs　on　everyone　who？s　anyone；　which　is　clearlyeveryone　at　this　particular　party。　Cheer　up；

wallflowers？I？ll　be　sure　to　give　you　all　the　juicy　gossip　and　gory　details　next　time。　Stay　tuned！

And　for　those　of　you　folks　at　home　packing　up　for　your　big　off…to…college　bon　voyage　tomorrow

morning；　I？ve　put　together　a　handy　checklist　of　what　to　pack。　I　know　most　of　you　are　too　busy

fantasizing　about　your　own　personal；　tear…filled　goodbye　scenarios；　so　let　me　assist　you　with　the

dorm…room　basics：

（1）　A　pair　of　horn…rimmed　glasses？Armani　or　Chanel？whether　you　really　need　them　or　not。　Every

college　boy　has　a　sexy…librarian　fantasy？trust　me。

（2）　One　leather…bound　notebook　and　a　silver　Montblanc　pen？perfect　for　passing　notes　to　the

hottie　who　sits　in　front　of　you　every　TuesdayThursday。

（3）　A　new　iBook。　Take　notes　in　class　while　checking　your　e…mail？and　send　some　irresistible

messages　to　your　latest　fling。　It？s　called　multitasking；　people；　and　I　should　know。

（4）　A　noise　machine　set　to　City　Sounds。　There？s　no　place　like　home。　。　。　。

（5）　Your　wits　and　charm！　College　is　all　about　red　tape；　rules；　and　regulations。　You？re　all　about

breaking　them！　So　remember；　you？ll　catch　more　flies　with　honey　than　vinegar。　A　tub　of　actual

honey　might　also　be　useful　for　smearing　on　all　those　cute　boys　in　Econ　202？not　that　I？m　actually

advocating　such　behavior。　。　。　。

sightings

NinTimes　Square；　staring　longingly　at　a　Polo　billboard　featuring　a　guy　on　a　sailboat；　flanked　by

two　gorgeous　models？a　blonde　and　a　brunette。　Wishful　thinking？　Well；　if　anyone　can　make　it

happen；　it？s　our　friendN　。　。　。　。S　atBarnes　&　Noble　in　Union　Square；　hidden　behind　an　enormous

pair　of　white　sunglasses　as　she　leafed　throughThe　Idiot？s　Guide　to　Finding　an　Agent　。　Sounds　like

someone？s　got　a　new　project！B　yelling　at　an　employee　in　the　bedding　section　ofABC　Carpet　and