小说园

第17部分（第5页）

〃You　make　me　feel　as　if　I　was　nothing；〃　he　said。

They　were　silent。　She　sat　watching　him。　He　could　not　move；

his　soul　was　seething　and　chaotic。　She　turned　to　her　sewing

again。　But　the　sight　of　her　bent　before　him　held　him　and　would

not　let　him　be。　She　was　a　strange；　hostile；　dominant　thing。　Yet

not　quite　hostile。　As　he　sat　he　felt　his　limbs　were　strong　and

hard；　he　sat　in　strength。

She　was　silent　for　a　long　time；　stitching。　He　was　aware；

poignantly；　of　the　round　shape　of　her　head；　very　intimate；

pelling。　She　lifted　her　head　and　sighed。　The　blood　burned　in

him；　her　voice　ran　to　him　like　fire。

〃e　here；〃　she　said；　unsure。

For　some　moments　he　did　not　move。　Then　he　rose　slowly　and

went　across　the　hearth。　It　required　an　almost　deathly　effort　of

volition；　or　of　acquiescence。　He　stood　before　her　and　looked

down　at　her。　Her　face　was　shining　again；　her　eyes　were　shining

again　like　terrible　laughter。　It　was　to　him　terrible；　how　she

could　be　transfigured。　He　could　not　look　at　her；　it　burnt　his

heart。

〃My　love！〃　she　said。

And　she　put　her　arms　round　him　as　he　stood　before　her　round

his　thighs；　pressing　him　against　her　breast。　And　her　hands　on

him　seemed　to　reveal　to　him　the　mould　of　his　own　nakedness；　he

was　passionately　lovely　to　himself。　He　could　not　bear　to　look　at

her。

〃My　dear！〃　she　said。　He　knew　she　spoke　a　foreign　language。

The　fear　was　like　bliss　in　his　heart。　He　looked　down。　Her　face

was　shining；　her　eyes　were　full　of　light；　she　was　awful。　He

suffered　from　the　pulsion　to　her。　She　was　the　awful　unknown。

He　bent　down　to　her；　suffering；　unable　to　let　go；　unable　to　let

himself　go；　yet　drawn；　driven。　She　was　now　the　transfigured；　she

was　wonderful；　beyond　him。　He　wanted　to　go。　But　he　could　not　as

yet　kiss　her。　He　was　himself　apart。　Easiest　he　could　kiss　her

feet。　But　he　was　too　ashamed　for　the　actual　deed；　which　were

like　an　affront。　She　waited　for　him　to　meet　her；　not　to　bow

before　her　and　serve　her。　She　wanted　his　active　participation；

not　his　submission。　She　put　her　fingers　on　him。　And　it　was