小说园

第82部分（第4页）

strange　laws　of　the　vegetable　world。　She　had　here　a　glimpse　of

something　working　entirely　apart　from　the　purpose　of　the　human

world。

College　was　barren；　cheap；　a　temple　converted　to　the　most

vulgar；　petty　merce。　Had　she　not　gone　to　hear　the　echo　of

learning　pulsing　back　to　the　source　of　the　mystery？……The

source　of　mystery！　And　barrenly；　the　professors　in　their　gowns

offered　mercial　modity　that　could　be　turned　to　good

account　in　the　examination　room；　ready…made　stuff　too；　and　not

really　worth　the　money　it　was　intended　to　fetch；　which　they　all

knew。

All　the　time　in　the　college　now；　save　when　she　was　labouring

in　her　botany　laboratory；　for　there　the　mystery　still　glimmered；

she　felt　she　was　degrading　herself　in　a　kind　of　trade　of　sham

jewjaws。

Angry　and　stiff；　she　went　through　her　last　term。　She　would

rather　be　out　again　earning　her　own　living。　Even　Brinsley　Street

and　Mr。　Harby　seemed　real　in　parison。　Her　violent　hatred　of

the　Ilkeston　School　was　nothing　pared　with　the　sterile

degradation　of　college。　But　she　was　not　going　back　to　Brinsley

Street　either。　She　would　take　her　B。A。；　and　bee　a　mistress　in

some　Grammar　School　for　a　time。

The　last　year　of　her　college　career　was　wheeling　slowly

round。　She　could　see　ahead　her　examination　and　her　departure。

She　had　the　ash　of　disillusion　gritting　under　her　teeth。　Would

the　next　move　turn　out　the　same？　Always　the　shining　doorway

ahead；　and　then；　upon　approach；　always　the　shining　doorway　was　a

gate　into　another　ugly　yard；　dirty　and　active　and　dead。　Always

the　crest　of　the　hill　gleaming　ahead　under　heaven：　and　then；

from　the　top　of　the　hill　only　another　sordid　valley　full　of

amorphous；　squalid　activity。

No　matter！　Every　hill…top　was　a　little　different；　every

valley　was　somehow　new。　Cossethay　and　her　childhood　with　her

father；　the　Marsh　and　the　little　Church　school　near　the　Marsh；

and　her　grandmother　and　her　uncles；　the　High　School　at

Nottingham　and　Anton　Skrebensky；　Anton　Skrebensky　and　the　dance

in　the　moonlight　between　the　fires；　then　the　time　she　could　not

think　of　without　being　blasted；　Winifred　Inger；　and　the　months

before　being　a　school…teacher；　then　the　horrors　of　Brinsley

Street；　lapsing　into　parative　peacefulness；　Maggie；　and