小说园

第82部分（第5页）

Maggies　brother；　whose　influence　she　could　still　feel　in　her

veins；　when　she　conjured　him　up；　then　college；　and　Dorothy

Russell；　who　was　now　in　France；　then　the　next　move　into　the

world　again！

Already　it　was　a　history。　In　every　phase　she　was　so

different。　Yet　she　was　always　Ursula　Brangwen。　But　what　did　it

mean；　Ursula　Brangwen？　She　did　not　know　what　she　was。　Only　she

was　full　of　rejection；　of　refusal。　Always；　always　she　was

spitting　out　of　her　mouth　the　ash　and　grit　of　disillusion；　of

falsity。　She　could　only　stiffen　in　rejection；　in　rejection。　She

seemed　always　negative　in　her　action。

That　which　she　was；　positively；　was　dark　and　unrevealed；　it

could　not　e　forth。　It　was　like　a　seed　buried　in　dry　ash。　This

world　in　which　she　lived　was　like　a　circle　lighted　by　a　lamp。

This　lighted　area；　lit　up　by　mans　pletest　consciousness；　she

thought　was　all　the　world：　that　here　all　was　disclosed　for　ever。

Yet　all　the　time；　within　the　darkness　she　had　been　aware　of

points　of　light；　like　the　eyes　of　wild　beasts；　gleaming；

penetrating；　vanishing。　And　her　soul　had　acknowledged　in　a　great

heave　of　terror　only　the　outer　darkness。　This　inner　circle　of

light　in　which　she　lived　and　moved；　wherein　the　trains　rushed

and　the　factories　ground　out　their　machine…produce　and　the

plants　and　the　animals　worked　by　the　light　of　science　and

knowledge；　suddenly　it　seemed　like　the　area　under　an　arc…lamp；

wherein　the　moths　and　children　played　in　the　security　of

blinding　light；　not　even　knowing　there　was　any　darkness；　because

they　stayed　in　the　light。

But　she　could　see　the　glimmer　of　dark　movement　just　out　of

range；　she　saw　the　eyes　of　the　wild　beast　gleaming　from　the

darkness；　watching　the　vanity　of　the　camp　fire　and　the　sleepers；

she　felt　the　strange；　foolish　vanity　of　the　camp；　which　said

〃Beyond　our　light　and　our　order　there　is　nothing；〃　turning　their

faces　always　inward　towards　the　sinking　fire　of　illuminating

consciousness；　which　prised　sun　and　stars；　and　the　Creator；

and　the　System　of　Righteousness；　ignoring　always　the　vast

darkness　that　wheeled　round　about；　with　half…revealed　shapes

lurking　on　the　edge。

Yea；　and　no　man　dared　even　thr