小说园

第93部分（第5页）

and　obscurity；　for　this　new　dawn？　How　frail　and　fine　and　clear

she　felt；　like　the　most　fragile　flower　that　opens　in　the　end　of

winter。　But　the　pole　of　night　was　turned　and　the　dawn　was　ing

in。

Very　far　off　was　her　old　experience……Skrebensky；　her

parting　with　him……very　far　off。　Some　things　were　real；

those　first　glamorous　weeks。　Before；　these　had　seemed　like

hallucination。　Now　they　seemed　like　mon　reality。　The　rest　was

unreal。　She　knew　that　Skrebensky　had　never　bee　finally　real。

In　the　weeks　of　passionate　ecstasy　he　had　been　with　her　in　her

desire；　she　had　created　him　for　the　time　being。　But　in　the　end

he　had　failed　and　broken　down。

Strange；　what　a　void　separated　him　and　her。　She　liked　him

now；　as　she　liked　a　memory；　some　bygone　self。　He　was　something

of　the　past；　finite。　He　was　that　which　is　known。　She　felt　a

poignant　affection　for　him；　as　for　that　which　is　past。　But；　when

she　looked　with　her　face　forward；　he　was　not。　Nay；　when　she

looked　ahead；　into　the　undiscovered　land　before　her；　what　was

there　she　could　recognize　but　a　fresh　glow　of　light　and

inscrutable　trees　going　up　from　the　earth　like　smoke。　It　was　the

unknown；　the　unexplored；　the　undiscovered　upon　whose　shore　she

had　landed；　alone；　after　crossing　the　void；　the　darkness　which

washed　the　New　World　and　the　Old。

There　would　be　no　child：　she　was　glad。　If　there　had　been　a

child；　it　would　have　made　little　difference；　however。　She　would

have　kept　the　child　and　herself；　she　would　not　have　gone　to

Skrebensky。　Anton　belonged　to　the　past。

There　came　the　cablegram　from　Skrebensky：　〃I　am　married。〃　An

old　pain　and　anger　and　contempt　stirred　in　her。　Did　he　belong　so

utterly　to　the　cast…off　past？　She　repudiated　him。　He　was　as　he

was。　It　was　good　that　he　was　as　he　was。　Who　was　she　to　have　a

man　according　to　her　own　desire？　It　was　not　for　her　to　create；

but　to　recognize　a　man　created　by　God。　The　man　should　e　from

the　Infinite　and　she　should　hail　him。　She　was　glad　she　could　not

create　her　man。　She　was　glad　she　had　nothing　to　do　with　his

creation。　She　was　glad　that　this　lay　within　the　scope　of　that

vaster　power　in　which　she　rested　at　last。　The　man　wou