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第72部分(第3页)

who’d spilled milk;” I said。 “But now when you address me as ”My respected

Shekure‘ it seems empty—as though you want us to know it is。“

I was trembling; not out of anger; but because of the icy cold that seized my

legs; back and neck。

“Get into bed and be my wife;” he said。

“How  will  the  villain  who  killed  my  father  ever  be  found?”  I  said。  “If  it’s

going to take some time before he’s found; it’s not right for me to stay in this

house with you。”

“Thanks to you and Esther; Master Osman has focused all his attention on

the horses。”

“Master Osman was the sworn enemy of my father; may he rest in peace。

Now  my  poor  father  can  see  from  above  that  you’re  depending  on  Master

Osman to find his murderer。 It must be causing him great agony。”

He abruptly leapt out of bed and came toward me。 I couldn’t even move。

But contrary to what I expected; he just snuffed out my candle with his hand

and stood there。 We were in pitch blackness。

“Your  father  can  no  longer  see  us;” he whispered。  “We’re  both  alone。  Tell

me now; Shekure: You gave me the impression; when I returned after twelve

319

years; that you’d be able to love me; that you’d be able to make room in your

heart  for  me。  Then  we  married。  Since  then  you’ve  been  running  away  from

loving me。”

“I had to marry you;” I whispered。

There; in the dark; without pity; I sensed how my words were driving into

his flesh like nails—as the poet Fuzuli had once put it。

“If I could love you; I would’ve loved you when I was a child;” I whispered

again。

“Tell me then; fair beauty of the darkness;” he said。 “You must’ve spied on

all those miniaturists who frequented your house and e to know them。 In

your opinion; which one is the murderer?”

I was pleased that he could still keep this good humor。 He was; after all; my

husband。

“I’m cold。”

Did I actually say this; I can’t remember。 We began to kiss。 Embracing him

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