who’d spilled milk;” I said。 “But now when you address me as ”My respected
Shekure‘ it seems empty—as though you want us to know it is。“
I was trembling; not out of anger; but because of the icy cold that seized my
legs; back and neck。
“Get into bed and be my wife;” he said。
“How will the villain who killed my father ever be found?” I said。 “If it’s
going to take some time before he’s found; it’s not right for me to stay in this
house with you。”
“Thanks to you and Esther; Master Osman has focused all his attention on
the horses。”
“Master Osman was the sworn enemy of my father; may he rest in peace。
Now my poor father can see from above that you’re depending on Master
Osman to find his murderer。 It must be causing him great agony。”
He abruptly leapt out of bed and came toward me。 I couldn’t even move。
But contrary to what I expected; he just snuffed out my candle with his hand
and stood there。 We were in pitch blackness。
“Your father can no longer see us;” he whispered。 “We’re both alone。 Tell
me now; Shekure: You gave me the impression; when I returned after twelve
319
years; that you’d be able to love me; that you’d be able to make room in your
heart for me。 Then we married。 Since then you’ve been running away from
loving me。”
“I had to marry you;” I whispered。
There; in the dark; without pity; I sensed how my words were driving into
his flesh like nails—as the poet Fuzuli had once put it。
“If I could love you; I would’ve loved you when I was a child;” I whispered
again。
“Tell me then; fair beauty of the darkness;” he said。 “You must’ve spied on
all those miniaturists who frequented your house and e to know them。 In
your opinion; which one is the murderer?”
I was pleased that he could still keep this good humor。 He was; after all; my
husband。
“I’m cold。”
Did I actually say this; I can’t remember。 We began to kiss。 Embracing him