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第98部分(第1页)

blind old man’s drinking cup with water from the fountain?” When no one

went to his aid; he’d say; “It’d be a good turn; my children; a pious deed!” The

color of his irises had faded and they were nearly the same color as the whites

of his eyes。

Agitated by the thought of resembling that blind old man; I confessed how

I  did  away  with  Enishte  Effendi  hurriedly;  without  savoring  any  of  it。  I  was

neither   too   honest   nor   too   insincere   with   them:   I   found   a   medium

consistency;  such  that  the  story  wouldn’t  trouble  my  heart  too  much;  and

they’d be assured I hadn’t gone to Enishte’s house to murder him。 I wanted

to  make  clear  that  it  wasn’t  a  premeditated  murder;  which  intent  they

gathered  when  I  reminded  them  of  the  following  while  trying  to  absolve

myself: “Without harboring bad intentions; one never goes to Hell。”

“After   surrendering   Elegant   Effendi   to   the   Angels   of   Allah;”   I   said

thoughtfully; “what the dearly departed expressed to me in his last moments

started to gnaw at me like a worm。 Having caused me to bloody my hands; the

final painting loomed larger in my mind; and so; resolving to see it; I went to

your Enishte; who no longer summoned any of us to his house。 Not only did

he  refuse  to  reveal  the  painting;  he  behaved  as  if  nothing  were  the  matter。

There was; he sniffled; neither a painting nor anything else so mysterious that

it called for murder! To preempt further humiliation; and to get his attention; I

thereupon confessed that I was the one who killed Elegant Effendi and tossed

him  into  a  well。  Yes;  then  he  took  me  more  seriously;  but  he  continued  to

humiliate  me  all  the  same。  How  could  a  man  who  humiliates  his  son  be  a

father? Great Master Osman would bee irate with us; he’d beat us; but he

never  once  humiliated  us。  Oh  my  brothers;  we’ve  made  a  grave  mistake  by

betraying him。”

I  smiled  at  my  brethren  whose  attention  was  focused  upon  my  eyes;

listening to me as though I lay on my deathbed。 Just as a dying man would; I

saw them growing increasingly blurry and moving away from me。

“I  murdered  your  Enishte  for  two  reasons。  First;  because  he  shamelessly

forced  the  great  Master  Osman  into  aping  the  Veian  artist;  Sebastiano。

Second;  because  in  a  moment  of  weakness;  I  lowered  myself  to  ask  him

whether I had a style of my own。”

428

“How did he respond?”

“It seems I am possessed of a style。 But ing from him; of course; this

was not an insult。 I remembered wondering; in my shame; if this were indeed

praise:  I  considered  style  to  be  a  variety  of  rootlessness  and  dishonor;  but

doubt was eating at me。 I wanted nothing to do with style; but the Devil was

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